welcome to my livejournal! ITS NEW! i haven't updated in a large hunka time. LOOKS LIKE TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

anyways! i just got back from montana. i can sum in up in 10 words (i'm counting family bonding as 1 word... duh):
chilly
beautiful
lakes
mountains
glaciers
LONG HIKES!
canadians
hucklybarries
FAMILY BONDING
ah!

we took a train there and back. and on the way there are train was suposed to leave at 10 am on friday. we didn't get back to pekin till 2 am sunday. THAT IS A LOT OF TIME ON A TRAIN. but i got to watch newsies! newsies is basiclly the most predictable movie in the world. AND ITS MY FAVORITE. its a musical about newsies in 1899. WHO KNEW CHILD LABOR COULD BE SO MUCH FUN!? also there are so munky hunkalicious men. HUNKY HUNKY MAN MEAT.



now i'm back in pekin. people hate pekin. but pekin has a superwalmart and, honestly, that and a couch are all i need to be happy. also, being canadian free is another plus. canadians just get in the way and tell bad jokes. thats all they have ever accomplished. that and celine dion. i'm not even going to bother looking up how to spell her name.

SO TODAY:
got up at noon.
walked downstairs.
apparently, while i was sleeping we got a new stove and a new tv and entertainment center in my basement. i should wake up at noon more often... oh wait, i already do that almost every day. except tomorrow i won't. i have to babysit little slutty brats. last time abby and kelsey helped me babysit them. i accidently swung one into a couch and it started to bleed. oops!

ANYWAYS! then i probably laid around, i'm just guessing. then i went to walmart. also there was a huge storm, WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT?
we bought lots of food and crayons. also i bought a lot of microwavable meals. i love those. i love those a lot. they're so simple! one minute i'm hungy and the next minute i have chicken alfredo with broccoli. thats pure magic.

THEN I CAME HOME.
but then i went to joeeeeeeee blands. and i don't really remember who was there. but abby and kelsey were there! and they had pics from guatamala. those were sexy. and i don't remember exactly what happened. i kinda remember talking about traveling the world and why brian always seems to be right behind you. always. we also played that one game where you have guess things under a subject. like famous bunnies: bugs bunny! that was actually one, i didn't make that up. i was going to make one up but i couldn't think of one. basically, it's family feud. i'm sure i miraculously came up with the answers several times. BECAUSE I JUST KNOW STUFF LIKE THAT. actually... i don't really remember answering anything... correctly that is. we ate stuff. jeremy answered things weird.. like MOOOOOOOOOSE. one subject was forest animals. WTF? there are so many forest animals. also, i think mice hardly qualify. i think lions definately should have been one. jeremy and i both guess cactusses.. that was weird. abby and i sat in the corner and talked while joe and kelsey watched baseball. i don't watch baseball. it makes me insides hurt. michael also makes my insides hurt. because he mocks me so. "NEVER START A SENTENCE WITH BECAUSE!" isn't it funny that teachers say that all the time when you're little, but 'because' is totally a reasonable way to start a sentence if you use it correctly, however, i did not use it correctly. BASEBALL IS SO SLOW! abby likes orphans. i like puppies. i can't throw pillows at joe because they hit jeremy. those are things i learned. hmmm.. that is all. OK!

i have to go to bed so i can babysit to my full potential... not. hahaha.. saying not after a sentence is so 90's. so is newsies. what a great movie.

NIGHT!

that was a long blog!


oh.. and also, these dinosaur comics make me laugh!

today was like AMAZING.. almost! to start off with i had to be at the school at 7:20 for some pointless student council thing, but hey, what itsn't pointless in student council? so we picked joey up and apparently there were no seats in the back of our van so joey just laid on the floor.. sexy. she sets my heart on fire.. then eats it. then i got to the school did the student council thing then walked ALL THE FREAKIN WAY BACK TO THE LOCKERS SO I COULD SEE EVERYBODY.. especially sara, my little sugar lump. and she gave me a bracelet that said "im so cute i want to date myself..designer skin". i know, try to contain your evil jealousy that will one day cause you to kill a baby.

band-sucked.

english- MRS GROSS PAIRED ME WITH ALEX UMHOLTZ. kudos for us! i don't really remember anything else. we probably beat some kids up or punched the teacher.. i don't really know.. but it was probably violent.

latin-FIRE DRILL! we got to walk outside, stand on the grass for 2 seconds then walk back in. in the event of an actual fire, i probably would not have causally strolled out of the building while trying to figure out the words to the michael buble song. unless it was a fire of love burning inside my heart.. but that kinda fire probably wouldn't set off an alarm. but it was very nice outside, i really enjoyed it. especially seeing jeremy in jeans, woo hoo! and his radiant golden eye-brows. he's going to kill me.

friday means friends! that means we get to go out to eat then our group goes to wilson and plays with little kids that have no friends. i rode with andy jones and ed was in the car... we went to the old a&w place, that was sorta awkward since i don't know ed.. like at all. all i know is his name. this would be a good place for a dramatic poem about loneliness.. but all well. we tried to get refills but apparently you can only get refills if you sit inside? racists. also there were lots of old people, it was like a dream come true. we played four-square with the little nerdy demons at wilson. i remember the good old days when four square was fun and light hearted. now its like a freakin death trap. i swear those little brats just make up rules as they go and find any reason to throw a little ball at me. also thanks to chris, one boy think my name is mary beth. thanks whore face.

geometry-sucked.

bio- had to work with cody to freakin identify bugs. a.k.a. hell. i never felt more retarded. well i have.. but i don't want to go into detail.

then cody, abby, and i went to taco bell and sat there FOREVER. i ordered a #7.. i get that every freakin time. even if i'm not hungry.. or even if i'm really hungry, i don't know how not to order a number 7. i'm such a #7 whore. i like flowers. so cody and abby talked about poop and nasty stuff and cody made me very happy not to be a boy because of his disturbing stories. then when the guy cleaning kept hinting to us that we should leave since we were there for like an hour and NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE, we went to the park. abby made friends with a goose.. or whatever those bird things are. she's retarded, yet she lights my life. also we walked under this amazing smelling tree. no seriously, it slmelt so good. why did that tree smell so good? then we walked down to paddle boats and they were closed so we sat on a swing by the lagoon. sexy. we creeped out little kids on bikes, or so cody says, but he's probably a liar. we sang songs as fat old ladies walked/waddled by in the nasty spandex pants. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH SPANDEX. then we went to the kiddy coral.. cody kinda got stuck on the rock wall. abby and i swung on the swings while cody sat in the woodchips and threw them at us. and also told a story where apparently he had to say bitch really loud. a lot. and we were surrounded by kids. also little freaks were singing a jock jams song and totally destroyed it. they'll probably be prostitutes. like me!

later i went to see much ado about nothing. and loads of people were there! like alex, carissa, her friend jill, abby sparks, caitlin, sara, abby ford, rachel, and i'm probably forgetting someone. and my parents were there, those party animals. i can't control them. AND JOEY WHITE AND MOLLIE SHEEHAN STOLE THE SHOW WITH THEIR AMAZINING LAUGHING AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. i couldn't keep my eyes off them (and i mean that in a non-gay way.. usually). also everyone else was good. justin peters was like a sex bomb. ow ow. all the boys were such beasts. i bet if they were faced with a lion, they'd probably win. but only if they had a gun, and were all excellent shooters.

then all those people i said before plus anthony espisito(?) went to monicals. we shared memories of the good old days as we all gathered around the fire and drank our tea. or we danced and laughed really loud and disturbed the whole 1 other family there. our waitress was nice. she reminded me of.. umm.. something nice? it could have easily been the seen of some 80's movie. except we had kelly clarkson instead of a wicked 80's band.

then we took people home. funny stuff probably happened, but i'm too tired to keep writing.

now i'm looking at pictures of registered prostitutes.. awesome. speaking of prostitutes, sara and i were talking and we decided that if i were a pimp, the house where all my sex slaves worked would be called sexy tavern. that would also be for my orphanage.. if i ever get one!

not my best update ever.. but it will do.

all in all, today was a good day. no, i lie. today was an amazingly awesome day, and i hope that your day sucked, because that would make my day just that more amazing.

nothing eventful happened in band.. but thats probably because its band.

i would have to say that today was one of the most awkward days in english... but oh boy, was it sexy. mason told me how he modeled in french for a project and we talked about how he had a hard time keeping the ladies off of him. but he's mason, what can you expect, he's such a stud. then our class watched the modern day romeo and juliet. i bet i can sum the movie in 5 words: leonardo, sex. violence, hawaiian shirts (counts as one word), and minorities. so that means that it was crazy awesome. go shakespeare!

mrs. stride subbed in latin. i love her, she is the funniest old lady i have ever met. i want to steal her and keep her in my basement to serve as entertainment when i am sad, but i'd totally feed her, but only because she is so adorable!

4th hour- had friends. went to long john silver/a&w. ate lots of food, but didn't eat meat because i'm catholic, and usually i don't care about breaking lent rules because i'm a bad person, but matt spialek was there and he was judging me.
then andy and i went to wilson and he introduced me into to some pretty awesome music. and we actually got to play with the kids outside instead of keeping the locked in the room and forcing them to play mancala for 30 minutes. i'm glad i'm not in 4th grade because i don't like them. so i played 4 square with the kids that didn't want to play kick ball and i tried to teach them how i used to play four square, and i confused them and felt really bad and wanted to hug them, but i didn't want to be arrested for child molestation... again.

then when i got back i saw marcus hanerhoff and perry montgomery! rock! it was awesome. i love both of them sooooo much. plus marcus thinks i stalk him because andrew wallen tells him that i'm going to marry him.

then i waited for alex on a random bench and i've never waited for him there before so it through him off guard. but i think he's back to normal now. but i think he probably has a fear that whenever he turns that i will be sitting there waiting for him, because that happens a lot to that poor child.

i went from a 0% to a 98% in geometry in like 1 day. why do i rock so much?

biology- nathan was back! yipeeee! he's still my little nathan, no matter what people say. i'm sure there are some people laughing out loud by me saying that, BUT HE'S SO ADORABLE! i was a little short tempered and easily annoyed today because i haven't gotten like any sleep this week and my throat hurts. so i had a hard time working with people.. especially cody because he steels my white out and makes fun of me. but i guess everyone makes fun of me (USUALLY in a friendly way), so mostly the only thing i have against cody is that he WHITE OUTS EVERYTHING WITH MY WHITE OUT. so when i go to look up answers later for binder tests or to study for tests, i find that key words are sometimes whited out. EVIL EVIL EVIL.

after school sara, me, and abby went to quiznos. i got cookies. we had some deep conversation. sorta. not really. but i love quiznos.

then we went to my house. we watched some of harry potter basically because we're obsessed with rupert grint, then we watched some of highschool musical BECAUSE ABBY JUST HAD TO WATCH IT BECUASE THEY WERE TEACHING DANCE MOVES. then we "went on a walk". then we came back for pizza and myspacing. then we went on a walk agian with a really bright flashlight and some random, retarded girls started yelling at us in a car and i wanted to stab them but i didn't feel like walking over there. then we sat on a bench by 8th street and we probably looked like really unattractive, lazy hookers. then we sat in some random's front yard and they came home and it was intense and weird. because they were old.. and we all know how old people can get. plus they smell. then we hung out at my house and talked about making a movie about out lives.. but never got around to it. plus no one would watch a movie about us because we suck. or at least we have to pretend we suck so people don't get obsessed with us. so they were here from 3:40ish-10:40ish and i loved it, and i hope that they didn't die of boredom.


michael is home.




that is all.

its been 20 days since my last update *gasp* so i decided to update even though nothing even slightly eventful has happened in those 20 days.

so my parents went to see wicked without me over the weekend and left brendan here to watch us.. even though he went to a party at 12 am till like 3 am. but he was with us in spirit... or at least thats what i kept telling myself while i was worrying about all the rapist that could be circling outside my house ready to break in at anytime and then sell me to people in africa. and i don't want to go to africa. SO ANYWAY, my parents went to see rent and now my mom won't stop playing the soundtrack and its driving me insane. especially when she sings along with it *shudders*

when i got to school i wandered around then ran away with sara for a while then found blanch looking like a speech pimp and i tried to engulf her face into my soul. then found alex walking around like a lost child and i tried to save him but he was long gone.

in band we actually had to play music today.. gross. but my day was made better when i saw cody in pain. why an i such a bad person? probably because i was neglected and beaten as a child. or maybe i wasn't neglected and beaten i just find joy in other people's pain because its funny.

apparently almost everybody's grade in english dropped a lot. mine only dropped 3..ish percent.. not bad. but a whole bunch of people have c's and if that grade keeps up then they won't be in AA english anymore and i will be oh so sad. CURSE YOU MRS GROSSSSSSS!!!

latin - no memory of it really. except we played great purple race for a while and marlow totally wiped out. hilarious.

i had a pre-ordered, personal pan pizza for lunch. it was sooo delicious. almost as delicious as high fives! and i vaguely remember hugging/squeezing sara because she is my sugar bun and keeps me warm when i am cold.

then i passed out pizza's during second lunch. and by passed out pizzas i mean that i studied for latin and talked to abby and randomly yelled at people that walked by, like jeremy cody kyle Christopher castle and collin, while brittany and katie did all the work. i love not having a conscience and making other people do my work!

geo-sucked.

bio- wooo. i don't really remember bio, but it was probably hilarious. cody and nathan verbally beat me up.. as usual.. and i attempted to insult them but probably sounded someone being eaten by fire ants! i say fire ants because on CSI yesterday there was a guy being eaten by fire ants. that was crazy.

after school i had to take a latin test because i won't be at school tomorrow. because guerro feels the need to make us miss a whole day of school DURING THE END OF NINE WEEKS. its ok though.. because he won't have a soul by the end of the day, because i might just happen to get hungry and EAT IT! scho bow was going on so that means i was ofter distracted by nat wherl and her amazingness. and by amazingness i mean AMAZINGNESS. oh god, i love that child. and i love girl scout cookies! oh man.. i reallllly love girl scout cookies.

i had a dream that my mom tricked me and jerri into almost killing jerri to steal her powers but i caught on right in time! i'm so smart.. even in my dreams!

now i've been talking to sara for 2 hours instead of doing homework and sleeping like a good child.

OMGITSSARALOL: i love rats

tuesdays are not my happy days... because tuesdays are not saturdays.

so, when i got to school, i viciously asked abby if she wanted to go down to breakfast with me. and she said yes.. either because she was bored or scared... or intrigued by my feisty way of asking her. so as we were power walking down to breakfast the 10 minute bell went off so i had to put the mysterious foil rapped object, which i was pretty sure was a sausage and egg biscuit, in my hoodie with a cartoon of milk and a straw and some very useful napkins. that kinda makes it sound like i stole it.. but alas, my conscience would never allow that. then i snuck it to the band room and diane formed a wall for me so i could secretly eat my not so tasty biscuit-like-object. most of it ended up on my shirt.. what a skanky breakfast item.

we had crazy mrs murphy as a sub in band. SHE IS SO AMAZINGLY OLD. and i wanted to fast forward to the good part in Hercules, but some losers started yelling at me so i ran away. and we didn't even get to the part where meg sings the best song ever. that really made me sad. just like reflecting on my childhood makes me sad. stupid band nerds.

in english, sarah and i made a skit between the friar laurence and the nurse. i was the friar because i'm manly. we rocked... except i only say that we rocked because its the only way to boost my self esteem so that i don't freak out and kill someone.. like i did to my stuffed cow. poor poor stuffed cow. apparently we sucked so bad that cody didn't even believe me in 6th hour when i said we preformed. he's gonna die.

i walked with alex to 3rd hour and was complaining about my ankle or something. and he told me that it was because i was not used to such long walks.. oh alex, how you break me down inside. then i pushed him, and ended up hurting myself.

latin-blah.

stuco-i didn't participate because i was distracted by a shiny object in the corner. you think i'm kidding... but its sadly very true.

after student council, i snuck up on alex and i'll never forget that disappointed look on his face when he saw it was only me. my parents had a similar look when i ran away then came back alive. sometimes i wish people loved me.. but then i wouldn't be the same sarcastic depressing person that constantly brings people down.

geo- fell asleep. thanks to the 3 hour concert my mom made me go to yesterday. THEY DON'T SIT DOWN AT THOSE CONCERTS BECAUSE JESUS LIKES IT WHEN OUR LEGS HURT.

bio- we got back our tests.. turns out i rock. there's this kid named billy in there and he can do weird things with his tongue. he can touch the bottom of his chin with his tongue like effortlessly. but can't touch his nose. but it was the freakiest thing ever. we got a good laugh out of it. we played popcorn reading and i only got picked once.. i don't have any friends. cody tried to kill me on the inside. but it won't work because in the words of destiny's child "I'M A SURVIVOR I AIN'T GONNA GIVE UP."

i came home and slept. afternoon naps are so beautiful... and so is being as awesome as me.
then i ate.

then i watched gilmore girls and scrubs. i wasn't going to write about watching them, but then i remembered cody told me not to, so it made me want to write about them even more. GILMORE GIRLS WAS SO-SO. rorie and logan are getting pretty serious, moving in together and everything. loralie and luke are adorable, i hope they get married june 3rd! and oh boy, rorie's grandparents are being the same old people they always were. they just can't stop butting everyone's plans!

scrubs is the funniest show i have ever seen.. at least almost. you should watch it. Tuesdays-channel 10-8:00. it's AMAZING.

now i'm avoiding my homework. i will pay for that tomorrow. or i will slide by like i always do.

so today was pretty cool. for the most part. so joey is cody rice's neighbor and when i picked joey up, CODY WAS TOTALLY WALKING TO HIS CAR AND I ABOUT DIED. oh mayo boy.. how i love thee.

got to school.. squeezed through the dirties to get to my locker... got all my stuff.. JOEY APPEARED AT MY LOCKER. WE RAN AWAY TOGETHER AND NEVER RETURNED. actually we went and sat on the floor by isa and stuff. then joey wagner threw my book bag so i sat on the floor and yelled for like an hour. then i screamed for alex for like an hour and he didn't notice me. except he noticed me when he needed to know bio homework.. jerk. except i admire him so. actually i'm obsessed with him. then joey wagner sat by me and joey white was on the other side of me so i was in a joey w sandwich. and let me tell you.. THERE IS NO BETTER SANWICH TO BE IN. except maybe there is.

band- sucked.

english- day 2 of no wade.. it's so wonderful. i don't really remember english. joey wagner told me that last year a teacher was like "why don't we put away the game of chess" and wade was like "why don't you go burn on a stake" or something like that. that's so crazy.

joe bland wasn't at school today :( BUT HE IS ALIVE. at least in my heart.

latin was an adventure today. we had to take a test.. and i think i got an A. AT LEAST I HOPE SO. and you better hope so too, because when i don't get a's i get sad and when i get sad i get angry and when i get angry i get violent and when i get violent i kill people and when i kill people i usually kill you. AND YOU BETTER PRETEND THAT THAT MADE SENSE OR I'LL SELL YOUR BODY TO TROLLS.


A LUNCH TODAY. I GOT A WALKING TACO. IT WAS DELICIOUS. OH YES IT WAS. and i got curly fries and those were wonderful as well! and the people at my table are amazing and i just love that lunch and i could talk forever about the beauty of A lunch.. but i won't. EXCEPT I I ONLY HAD LIKE 1.95 ON MY ACCOUNT OR WHATEVER BUT SINCE I GOT CURLY FRIES I HAS TO PAY LIKE 55 CENTS. but all i had was a twenty. so i had to break a twenty for 55 CENTS. that part was bad. but at least i had change to buy a soda.. except i never bought a soda so that's irrelevant.

geo-WORST DAY EVER BECAUSE I LIKE FAILED MY TEST. but oh well. mr neville was wearing a pink hoodie that zips up and said iowa on it and it was too short on him. that part was pretty funny.. i'm not going to lie.. that's what he gets for loosing a bet.

biology- go RNA! pretty much all i remember from bio is that mason weatherhead was sitting in the hallway out side out door and i kept making eye-contact with him and feared for my life. yet felt strangely happy inside.

after school i went to jeremy's with kelsey b, abby, and caitlin. and then bryan walked in through the garage door and came in and was in the kitchen. and jeremy just goes "i bet he's getting a bowl for his peanuts" and sure enough, bryan walked in and sat on the computer with a bowl and peanuts. he didn't even say a word. then joe came over even though he wasn't at school. then cody came over through the garage... and abby like tripped up the stairs because she heard he was there. except maybe cody came before joe. then we watched spongebob for a short period of time. then the boys went into their very memorized routine of gettting out the chairs and setting up to play battle front. which i have learned is a very important game and you are not to mess with it! but there are dinosaurs so it rocked. and they were so into it. it was hilarious.. NERDS. so us girls sat there and watched them play battlefront then we had a guess who tournament. yeah.. we're nerds, too. but sexy nerds. then we raded jeremy's house for food. and ate ice cream cups and cody spilled salsa on the rug and had to clean it up. AND HE KEPT TRYING TO RUB THE PAPER TOWEL AND I WAS LIKE YOU GOTTA DAB. and i know that because i have spilt a couple million things in my life. much more than the average person.

then i came home and slept. because thats what i'm best at.

THEN I WATCHED ONE TREE HILL. AND IT WAS AMAZNG AS USUAL. i think dan is regretting his evil past. WHAT IS UP WITH LUCAS'S MOM AND DAN'S BROTHER. i liked the australian much better! and everybody is all happy on the show for once. except i'm predicting that lucas will have a heart attack soon. and i bet nathan will get accepted to stanford and hailey won't! how ironic would that be!?

Jkm271: give ur hats to the homeless people they'll take anything
maryOcow: they could always use it as a puke bucket
Jkm271: or a begging basket
Jkm271: or a chair

THAT IS ALL.

i haven't updated in forever because, honestly, i haven't felt like it. i was going to say something like "i haven't updated for a while because i ran off in the woods and lived with wolves and ate rabbits just to tick rabbit lovers off" but i decided to be honest.. for once. but i don't feel like updating now either because i'm super tired.. but i'm updating just for joey wagner, who is now obsessed with my sexy life.

JOEY WHITE THE GIRL WAS SICK TODAY :( so i didn't have my morning buddy since i was there super early. so once again, i passed by the dirties the stand in my locker row every morning and politely asked the abnormally large boy standing in front of my locker to move. and he very IMPOLITELY laughed and stood there for another minute until i glared at him with my deathly, hate-filled glare that has been known to kill people. and i couldn't find alex so first i went with mollie, then i went with molly and annoyed them both for a while with my pointless stories about my life. then i found abby.. and we went to counselors office to turn in our schedules... and it was like a freakin zoo in there. kids were running in and out and pushing people down and stabbing people in the backs with pencils and kicking in the shins. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? so then i remembered i had to do the pledge. so i was all thinking of adjectives that start with m. like Marvelous monday. except i needed something sexy. so i thought meaty monday. then majestic. then meritorious. but then i went to the office and the had the words on the wall and it said "have a great day" so i got freaked out and said great day. and i think the whole world died a little when they heard me say that. how lame. but yeah, i did and awesome job... at least thats what i keep telling myself so i don't kill myself. but i totally got the celebrity treatment all day. or more like 2 people said they heard me.

i don't remember band.

i got to play the part of the prince in english. i only got to say one thing.. but it was like half a page. and i started out with some personality then my mind started to drift into fantasies about me and... nevermind. and it was really hard to read so by the end i was talking really fast and i just wanted to get it done with and i think i was the worst prince in the world. but that's ok.. because i'm a girl. or so you think.. MUHAHAHAHAHA.

JOE BOND IS BACK IN LATIN. i sang him a song that ended in "you are not listening to anything i say to you and you don't even know i'm' singing to you" because that is true... he doesn't know i am alive. except he does know i'm alive because i pretty much drive him insane. laura left latin early because she is really sick and i hope she feels better because she is my love. and i love her toy story shirt. and her face.

I GOT TO EAT A LUNCH. AND I LOVE A LUNCH SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. mostly because of alex.. totally my best friend ever... or at least almost. he gave me his twix today then called me fat. its a love-hate relationship. I DON'T NEED HIGH SELF-ESTEEM ANYWAY.

then in study hall, crazy pregnant 12-year-old say behind me and i could feel the satanic powers of her fetus. then i got called to the counselor's office. grrrrrrr. that made me depressed because i had tons of homework and mr. fairchild had like 8 kids waiting to get in the office. so i had to sit there for 20 minutes and listen so ROTCs talk about being dirty. and then one of them talked to me about it's dog... JUST BECAUSE MY DAD IS A VET DOESN'T MEAN I CARE ABOUT YOUR RETARDED DOGS THAT ARE WEIRDLY GOOD HUNTERS. then mr. fairchild called me in to say that he got my schedule and he was writing it down. THANK YOU FOR WASTING MY LIFE. also he asked me why i wasn't in marching band. first i just looked at him because i was puzzled to why anyone would ask me that. then i told him i despise 90% of the people in band and would rather die.. and he goes "WELL OKAY THEN, i guess i'll sign you up for early bird gym" i began to argue then was just like whatever. so someone remind me later to go drop out of early bird gym.

geometry-sucked.

biology. oh boy. i made a DNA model because cody sucks and can't do anything right. then he tried to tell me that my dog didn't die a quick, peaceful death. Then him and billy got me started thinking about the billy goat gruff story and I CAN'T REMEMBER IT. and i pointed out that a goat would loose in a fight with a troll because goats don't have thumbs. and first they made fun of me about saying the thing about thumbs then billy was just like "trolls aren't real." and i cried on the inside... and probably on the outside too. speaking of thumbs.. i really like my thumbs. seriously.. i'm obsessed with them. but the rest of my fingers are really chubby and weird. but my thumbs.. they are amazing. also speaking of child-hood stories, one time when i was little, i begged my mom to tell me a story. so she was all like "once there was a princess named mary and she refused to go to sleep" and i was like "MOM THATS BORING" so she goes "FINE, THEN THE PRINCESS GOT EATEN BY A PACK OF WOLVES BECAUSE SHE WHINES TOO MUCH." that explains some of my problems. cody told me that i keep my eyes closed a lot during the day but not at night. then i questioned him about it, and he demonstrated what he meant with the wonderful DNA model that i made so perfect. and thats all i remember.

then after school abby gave me, jeremy, and caitlin a ride home. a we had a sexy time. jeremy randomly said milk again and told me to do my homework. AND ALSO SAID I COULD PLAY BATTLE FRONT AT HIS HOUSE. except i think he just said that to be polite.. but i still felt all tingly inside. on saturday i was in THE mini van along with jeremy and other people and jeremy asked someone what toothpaste they use and they were like "i don't know.. probably crest." and he was like "LUCKY! ALL I GET IT TAR TAR PROTECTION" and i don't think i ever laughed so hard in my life.

so anyway, i came home and my sister was running around the house singing songs from hisghschool musical. she is gay. then abby and i played tennis.. outside. it was like 30 degrees. and we accomplished nothing. except abby managed to beam the ball ALL THE TIME. so i always had to run and get them. and apparently she is unaware that i like to get as little exercise as possible when doing sports. we pretty much just talked the whole time anyway.

THEN I CAME HOME AND HAD TACO SALAD. AND I HAD LIKE EVERYTHING ON IT. i am growing up so fast.

THEN I WATCHED 7TH HEAVEN. and this week i learned that racism is bad and that martin is a loser.


that is all.




a baby kangarooo: you make my aorta feel sexy

HAPPY HUMP DAY! so today was alright. it was like eating a jar of marshmallow fluff.. but with someone poking you the whole time. you know... like it would be awesome if it weren't for the bad things. alright... little too far there.

so picked up joey. woo. then we walked inside and gabe called me pumpkin.. or sorta more like yelled it. and i wasn't sure if he was talking to me so i just walked by but i really wanted to be like ACTUALLY I AM A JACK-O-LANTERN SINCE I HAVE A FACE. but i restrained myself for obvious reasons.

band sucked. playing weird music that i couldn't play if my life depended on it. WHY MIKE HAZEN DID YOU LEAVE? WHY?

english-sucked

latin- learned about the trojan war. and according to myth it was started because helen went to troy and left her hubbi.. blah blah blah. but i decided that joe bond is kinda like helen. like if second hour latin stole him, 3rd and 2nd hour latin would probably go into a war because he is the most beautiful person. except it would only be 4 years instead of 9. yeah..

study hall was really weird. so abby and i and like other people in study hall who are in student council had to leave at D lunch to go to a meeting about FRIENDS (which i will explain later). but abby didn't ever get a pass because she's retarded and i think my pass fell out of my pocket because i'm an ass. so we asked the old guy if we could still go. and he kept going "now why should i give special treatment to student council?" but it took me like 80 times to understand what he was saying because he doesn't know how to talk. so i kept staring at him. and abby just stood there. so i was like "you shouldn't" and he was all like, "you didn't answer my question" and i was like "yes i did" and that went on for like 5 minutes. then he told me what us to say that we were good kids. so abby said that and then we got to go. but first i fell asleep in study hall, so i got to have awesome markings of my sweatshirt on my forehead through the whole meeting!

ok so FRIENDS is a thing where we get to leave study hall on fridays and go mentor little kids who don't have friends. i hope my kid eats weird things because that is hilarious. and if he doesn't.. i'll probably make him eat weird things just for kicks. i'm just trying to start an army to take over the world. but some kids say they want to make a difference in a kid's life... yeah.. sure you do. so at the meeting matt described an what happens to an old person as they age. and i discovered that i am a 15-year-old in a 80 year old body. ok.. that's all.

geo sucked.

bio- meh. i've noticed that nate says the word "penis" a lot. collin makes jokes about cody being a band geek a lot. and cody... i'm not really sure, he's just kinda weird a lot. i make weird noises a lot in that class. because i don't really know how to form words because my parents didn't feel the need to properly raise me. they just kinda gave up on me and deny i'm their child. BUT THEY CAN NEVER ESCAPE ME BECAUSE I'M EVERYWHERE. so we looked at onions that were going through mitosis under a microscope... except it was like impossible to see anything because my life sucks. nate made a racist joke and he's going to get shot. it seems like a lot happens in that class.. but i can never remember anything.

jerri stayed home sick today. she was lying on the couch when i came home. i took the remote. i turned up the tv so i could hear it in the kitchen... she freaked out because she had a "headache". i call it more of a case of 'i'm a crap face little baby and wanna stay home' BUT WHATEVER. so i went to toss the remote back to her and accidentally chucked it at her head. and she started to cry. at fisrt i laughed and thought it was hilarious.. then i felt bad... that lasted for like a minute.. then i started laughing again. but i got her tylonal... so we're all good. then i fell asleep on the floor. that is all.

DID ANYONE SEE ONE TREE HILL? OMG! i didn't know the nathan's mom tried to kill dan! and i'm so glad that hailey and nathan are doing well again! AND LUCAS SHOULD BREAK UP WITH BROOKE BECAUSE SHE WAS MEAN TO LUCAS'S OLD FRIEND. and payton is getting to know her biological mom now. they had a rocky start.. but they're doing well. i'm proud of them. when is the australian coming back? i liked him.

started off my morning same as usual. yelled at my mom for trying to wake me up. get up way later than i'm supposed to. rushed to get ready. pick up joey. listen to old people on the radio because my mom thinks they're "hip". get stuck behind the retardo bus. go to my locker even though i never empty or add anything to my book bag... i just go and stand there and people look at me and i die a little on the inside. then i go stare at the soccer boys until one of them acknowledges me then i leave because the tension becomes too thick to bare.

but then i met up with joey and abby and we went with isa and stuff. and like 80 people kept pestering about the "fight" or whatever it is. JUST STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT. that's all i have to say about that. everyone is making it into something bigger than it is.

then i walked with alex and nate and abby to their first hour, even though its like waaaaaaaay out of my way.. but i enjoy the walks because they're like my favorite people.. except for nate.. he totally sucks. yet i worship the ground that he walks on.

then in band i totally rocked at trombone.. except i actually sucked and guerro screwed up again, because he doesn't know how not to. he was probably made fun of a lot as a child... i would probably make fun of him if he was in my class. nerd.

after band, cody, joe, and me traveled the long journey to english, up the many hills and barriers. and oh, how the muscles burned and my spirit died. cody said he was going to have to get out his oxygen tank.. that was funny. but we made it there, because we're troopers AND WE NEVER GIVE UP!

in english i sit by wade and in front of mike fink. neither of them should be in that class because they manage to suck at EVERYTHING. seriously. except apparently mike is some sort of weird karate kid thing. we had to work with the people next to us so OF COURSE, i get stuck with wade hitler. and her pretty much worked on homework the whole time and threatened to kill me every time i talked. oh, good times.. or the worst time of my life.. after that time michael beat me with a tennis racket and my mom didn't believe me. that was probably an all time low.

i don't really remember latin.. except i seem to remember talking about joe bond excessively while he was sitting next to me, then complimenting his sleeves. also laura and i rocked.

lunch was usual. got a turkey and mayo sandwhich and MATT SPAILEK WAS BEHIND ME AND HE CAUSES SOMETHING WEIRD TO HAPPEN TO MY INTERNAL ORGANS!

geo sucked.. as usual.


in bio i sat in my usual spot. everyone verbally attacked me as usual. nate called me penis head. and cody and i attempted to demonstrate mitosis with pipe cleaner and string and tootsie rolls. but i was easily distracted by the chocolate and didn't learn anything. and failed at life. and also like half the class copied my homework, but little did they know that i don't know anything about science and probably miserably failed.

then i had speech with kayli. atif is apparently my papa. and i suck more at speech than i remembered.

then i watched oprah and there was this little kid who was obsessed with dinosaurs and he could possibly be the only child that does a better dinosaur impression than me. and also, we'll probably get married. i don't care if he's 7. we'll make it work. and we'll probably be the weirdest couple in the world and have the most deformed children.


MY LITTLE BLANCH IS ALMOST 16! YIP! she makes my bladder stop working!

all the entries are still the same, just a completely different set up and stuff. tell me what you think of it! i think it's pretty sweet, myself.

alright... today was freakin nuts/awesome/i hated it.

all during break i went to bed at like 4:30, so that became my sleep schedule. so i seriously didn't fall asleep much before that last night. so i got like 2 hours of sleep. BUT I WASN'T EVEN TIRED.. i just don't think all my organs didn't fully work. but working organs are over rated.

-we picked joey up and it was amazing. her hair is freakin awesome. and then we drove past the turn into the band room doors where i always go, so like my dad pulled on a really crappy street with some kid with really really long hair who probably only attends school on the first day of the semesters. and we turned around because my dad said he was going to get us to those band doors no matter what. and he sure did. even though we got mind raped the creepy kid.

-in band i stared at a wall for like 20 minutes. then cody zevnik showed off his robotic arm which is actually cardboard, but it is freaking sweet. the elbow moves and everything.... AND THERE ARE EVEN LITTLE COPPER TACK THINGIES THAT HE TORE OUT OF FOLDERS. but then he gave it to me since i've been bugging him about it for like 3 weeks. it's definitely the best robotic arm i've ever received. and i got a lot of weird looks for carrying it around.

-in english i had to relive bad memories because we had to get to freakin "get to know eachother". except i was paired with trevor and i totally already know him. alex said the meanest thing he ever did was call me fat, and that was awkward because they had to present them so everyone was looking at me and they were totally judging me. also trevor through a baseball at his sister and griffin tied up his brother. i thought those were interesting.. yet twisted. and wade went up to gross's desk and stole a pencil and i told him to put it back and he just walked away. one time he stole my pencil and refused to give it back. grrr.. he makes me angry.

-in latin, farley said she was going to give me her christmas gift. muhahahaha. she loves me. also, i sit behind joe bond again so i can stare at/pet his beautiful red hair. and cameron baldes is now in that class. and we're like identical. and i go HEY TWIN! and he stared at me then turned around. laura thought it was hilarious. also kaleigh, liz and i relived memories from kindergarten and first grade. we were nasty little kids. not much had changed with kaleigh... except i'm twice as obsessed with her now.

-I EAT A LUNCH 3 DAYS A WEEK. ROCK! THE ANNOUNCEMENTS TOTALLY SAID THEY WERE HAVING MEATBALL SUB TODAY. but they had bbq sandwhcihes and they were gross today. like vomit gross. like i would rather hug a smelly kid gross. then in study hall i'm like as far away as possible from any human because crazy old guy made the worst seating arrangements in history. except there are 2 guys behind me and they were making me self-conscious. so like i tried to fix my hair and i accidentally ripped like a gob of hair from my head and it was weird. and the study hall guy is old and mumbles and he is freakin crazy. he said something like "schedule pops up.. c lunch sometimes.. i'm study hall teacher...today says A... sometime B... i don't know... it'll be fixed." so i just stared at him BECAUSE WHAT THE HECK DID HE SAY. ALSO SARA AND JOEY AND LAURA DIDN'T SIT BY ME AT LUNCH BECAUSE SOME CRAZIES WERE THERE. but alex, kyle, cameron, and joe sat with us, so it was ok because they make me laugh. but sara is my love... except she hates me.

-geometry was awkward. new kids. new depression. and i'm stuck behind a gross ROTC who has a shaved head and he has a really deformed head with bruises and pimples all over his head and neck. and it made me sick everytime i looked at him. i will probably throw up on him by the end of the year. and i totally am going to kick mr neville if i don't get moved soon.

-in bio i sat by cody zevnik and collin and jason.. but i hate jason. and then nate walked in and i about died. because nate is the most freakin awesome person ever. except maybe he's not because i don't even think he's human... more like a god. i probably terrify him. and also where is randy and carissa and matt and kayla? they will be missed... or i will forget about them by tomorrow.

mmm... marshmellows.

-then i went the edison/broadmoor game after school with kelsey b and abby. i remembered why i hated jr high. smelly kids. 98% are losers or 12 year olds pretending to be 18.


thats my first day of school in 2006. yeah it's long.

so happy 2006... except it probably sucks because that is life.

i went to medieval time with abby, kelsey b and m, joe, jeremy, bryan, collin, and cole.
it was a sexy time.
food was freakin delicious. i devoured IT ALL. like a freakin dinosaur. THE CARNIVORE KIND. THAT MEANS THE MEAT EATING KIND FOR ALL YOU VOCABULARY IMPAIRED PEOPLE.
i was sandwiched between abby and bryan. bryan had his elbow in my side like the whole time and i think he was gay for our knight... or for all of them.
we had the hottest knight ever. and he won. but also i love like all the other knights... except red... i think he may have been retarded.. nothing against retards... except i didn't pay 55 dollars to see one when i could just walk around the highschool for 5 minutes and find 80. abby went insane trying to get a kissed rose from our knight.. but she miserably failed. as usual.


i made abby listen to system of a down on the way there.. she probably thought they were amazing. we had a hardy ol' hardy time listening to bush bashing music.

we went to a mall and had to drag kelsey b out of the lego store because she was making a castle. it was a sucky castle, so no one really cared. ;)

we help up a entire tired family and little kids so that we could ride the elevator.. just for fun. i like making children suffer, it makes my life better... or at least funnier. then we bothered the foreign guy that worked in the candy area for like 10 minutes and bought candy.. except abby bought some weird birthday hat made out of chocolate and i had some and i think i threw up in my mouth/my face.

bryan didn't eat any of his chicken at the show, so he tried taking it home in a doggy bag. but it started to stink up the entire van on the way home and everyone was yelling at bryan. and we had to stop at a gas station to throw it away, even though jeremy claimed he was getting used to the smell. there i stocked up on donuts and crap. except not real crap.. because not even i would eat that. that was probably the highlight of my night.. it was so bryanish.

we stopped at joe's brother's apartment and awkwardly celebrated the new year there with college kids that hate us. but it was all good, because i stole some mini bbq wieners and sparkling grape juice.

a lot of stuff happened. by i can't really remember anything.

maryOcow: i got a hair cut
OMGITSSARALOL: is it ugly
OMGITSSARALOL: i bet it is

OMGITSSARALOL: when i touch you, you melt just not on the inside on the out

OMGITSSARALOL: i am rubber
OMGITSSARALOL: you are glue

OMGITSSARALOL: I WILL STAB YOU.

OMGITSSARALOL: shes like her sister
OMGITSSARALOL: FREAKINCRAZY
OMGITSSARALOL: it runs in the family
OMGITSSARALOL: like you my friend
OMGITSSARALOL: you have sexy infested in your veins

maryOcow: i should go to the doctor and have him beg to diagnose me with "sexiness"
maryOcow: and write a presecibstion for"SEXY-NAL"
OMGITSSARALOL: hahaha
OMGITSSARALOL: but really he would put you on anti-depressants
OMGITSSARALOL: because that didn't make sense


OMGITSSARALOL: IF I WAS AARON CARTER
OMGITSSARALOL: THAT'D BE PRETTY SWEET


OMGITSSARALOL: GOD MARY
OMGITSSARALOL: WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO DIE
OMGITSSARALOL: AND KEEP ON LIVING
OMGITSSARALOL: SERIOUSLY YOUR RUINING MY LIFE
OMGITSSARALOL: WITH YOUR MOLE COSTUMES, HAIRCUTS, AND SEXY REFERENCES

OMGITSSARALOL: not to mention that time you took a job as a cabana boy and cleaned rich peoples pools in a thong
OMGITSSARALOL: you piece of crap
OMGITSSARALOL: go eat yourself
OMGITSSARALOL: EAT YOUR KNEE I REALLY DONT CARE ANYMORE

OMGITSSARALOL: sometimes i look like jesus in the morning

OMGITSSARALOL: mmm cat


OMGITSSARALOL: i remember once i went upstairs to talk to your sister
OMGITSSARALOL: and we talked about her being in band
OMGITSSARALOL: and it was awkward
OMGITSSARALOL: and
OMGITSSARALOL: THE SPARKS WERE FLYING
OMGITSSARALOL: and not abby
OMGITSSARALOL: because abby doesnt have wings
OMGITSSARALOL: and abbys mom is a teacher
OMGITSSARALOL: and teachers can't fly
OMGITSSARALOL: but i dont know about her dad
OMGITSSARALOL: that mustache has a weird vibe coming from it




what a sexy girl.






p.s. i hope laura has the sexiest birthday ever!

RIP Jacob Smith
my best memory of him is definitely in 6th grade when i was attempting to sing "he's got the whole world in his hands" and he decided to change the words. It went like this:
me: HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD
js: blown up
me: he's got the whole world
js: nuked
me: he's got the whole world
js: shot into a million pieces
me: he's got the whole world
js: in his hands because he's crushing everyone

maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious.
i wish i could have spent more time with you, jacob.


i was going to sum up all of winter break but i reallllllllly don't feel like it at all. so i'm going to talk about today.

-got up at 12:10.. unless you count when i got up at 9 to go to the bathroom. yeah... that was weird.
-hobos smell weird.. not that i'd know.
-got my hair cut at 1.. sorta. i kinda got bangs.. but i kinda just look like some sort of deformed rodent. BUT HEY, WHATS NEW?
-abby and i went to the pekin game thing. we got there in the second quarter because of my hair cut. and of course, kelsey and kelsey were on the complete opposite side of the gym, and so i got pizza and soda. but i didn't want to walk when they were playing because i watched this video on the internet of this little boy who was walking during a game and he got hit with a ball and went sliding across the floor. and it was too easy to picture myself doing that. we tried creeping our way down during time outs and stuff but we ended up using the cheerleaders as protection. BUT APPARENTLY THEY SUCK AT BLOCKING BALLS. because this ball almost hit up and the man with abnormally large hands popped out of no where and blocked the ball. so we didn't go in till half time. i was like weirdly into the game. i like probably crapped myself, but i didn't notice BECAUSE I WAS SO INTO THE GAME. it was CRAZY.
-then i had to go to the eye doctor. I GOT MY EYES DILATED. it burned. much like it burns my heart when my brother tells me everyday that he hates me and sometimes wishes i was dead. i'm pretty sure he's lying because i'm like the best sister ever... or at least in the top 4. but anyway.. so my pupils were all huge and it was fun to stare at people because i looked creepy, i would have given anything to come across a little kid so i could scare them and make them cry. but also i couldn't read anythings because i couldn't focus my eyes so whenever i tried to read something close i would like shake my head and close my eyes because it made me dizzy. so i probably looked drunk or illiterate. BUT MAYBE I AM.
-kudos to abby for having her head in the newspaper.. even though it's barely visible.
-then i went to jacob smith's visitation. i don't want to talk about that.
-then i ate supper without my family because they don't love me at all.
-then we picked up abby to take her to the game. when she got into the car i went to call her boo.. just because it felt right, but the i realized that's what you call your "significant other" so i ended up adding a bee to the end of it so we wouldn't look like lesbians. so i ended up going hey booo... bee. and my mom thought i was calling her boobie.. and it turned into extreme confusion and my mom thought i sexually harassed abby.
-so then we went to the championship game. CODY ZEVNIK WAS IN THE BASKETBALL BAND AND MADE IT 70000000 TIMES BETTER BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST DRUMMER EVER. i'm redeeming myself, even if i have to lie about how good he is at drumming. AND BRUCE AND RENEE PUCKETT WERE AT THE GAME AND BRUCE IS STILL THE LOVE OF MY LIFE EVEN IF HE'S MARRIED TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE. i was into this game too. it was crazy. MOLINE WON! yeh! that's who i was cheering for. and kelsey b won the quarter thing because she said the total was going to be 107 AND IT WAS. i almost did kartwheels because i was so happy, but i didn't want to permanently injure myself or any small children around me. or scar someone for the rest of their life.
-then i went to joe bland's. me, abby, and kelsey m ordered pizza.. muhahaha. i got to say keep the change. i always feel weird saying that.. but stranglely powerful. having a knife in my hands has the same effect. SO YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK. then we played LOTR trivia. hardest game ever. i'm pretty sure you have to be the biggest nerd in the world to be good at that game. no one got any.. except joe answered like 1. so he won, i guess... even though it pains me to say that. i need a hug, now. but only if you're sexy.

yeah... christmas was good. got cool things, hung with family, made babies cry the usual. oh and they got me a new cell so i'm available to call now... so now the whole 2 people that call me know! and everyone will know it is mine by the cow covering that attaches to my belt.. because i'm that fancy and cool.

apparently abby got a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. HOW FREAKIN CRAZY IS THAT?

on christmas i told my dad i wanted to listen to my rent cd in the car and he goes "great, i love gays singing about AIDS on christmas." that's only funny if you know my dad.

last night i stayed up till 4 watching crash. it was pretty good. i LOVE racism and guns... my kind of movie. i'm kidding.. i don't approve of guns.

today i slept till 12:30 and my mom asked me if laying around so much made me soar. little does she know that sleeping is the only thing i live for... and ryan phillippe. SO BACK OFF REESE WITHERSOON... little whore.

i saw king kong with my parents and little sexy and lil sexy's not so sexy friend. yeah, i'm cool. CRAZY MOVIE. ALL THE DINOSAURS. OMG OMG. it was so wonderful. i love dinosaurs. i hope no dinosaurs were harmed in the filming of that movie. also, i was so happy to see my t-rex family once again. i am a t-rex. and adrien brody! wooowie! he was a dinosaur too. YEAH, A HUNK-ASAUROUS! oh boy.





^me


cody update:
nothing. i think he might be dead. or kidnapped by rapist. or possibly taken by king kong because king kong thinks he is beautiful... but probably not. BUT AT LEAST I MENTIONED HIM!


that is all. little boring and weird... but i'm trying to avoid cleaning my room. good-bye.